Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Really - Seriously??!!

About a week ago I had the perfect (and finally) opportunity to meet up with some girlfriends for a girls night out event. I have not gotten to go dancing with friends in months - being busy volunteering has consumed me and well, having weight issues can hold me back at times.

Feeling uncomfortable with my size, my outfit and well, being around people skinnier than me has always been difficult for me, but at times I have to brave the courage to just get out. So - I did.

As I went to pick up one of my friends, she was looking really good. I got in the car and just wanted to go change my clothes, but then really wanted to go home. But, I kept driving - it was going to be okay - I was going to have fun.

We met up with two other ladies and we were waiting for the DJ to start the music. I got over my "not feeling good looking" moment and I was ready to see how the night progressed.

However, as we were ordering drinks another person joined us. I had met this lady once before, but about 1.5 years ago and had not met up with her again until this evening. I am not good at remembering faces, as much as names, but this lady did not seem familiar to me. She then said that I had met her once before? I was like - what? Within minutes I come to find out that this lady just had Gastric Bypass surgery last September and had lost over 100 pounds in little less than 11 months.

Now, don't get me wrong, those that get this surgery do it for a choice - one that I would not pick. I come to find out that this lady picked this surgery because - and I quote - I don't want to have to put in that much work???? What - really - seriously??? Gastric Bypass surgery is work - no matter how you put a spin on it. You have to make a lifestyle change - it is not just about changing the size of your stomach, looking good, losing tons of weight fast, being skinny - it is making a huge lifestyle change. As the evening progressed I realized that this lady really didn't want to make a lifestyle change, she was looking for a quick fix.

And the night progressed quickly down hill - because less than 5 minutes from hearing that she had lost all that weight she turns to me and says "You should get gastric bypass surgery"?

What - Really - Seriously?? Did you just say what I think you said? She didn't just say it once, but several times over the next say 60 minutes. Talk about uncomfortable?? She did apologize, but what - really - seriously????

I can honestly say I will never be getting that surgery. No one should ever be told that they need that type of surgery. How awful of someone to turn to another person and make that type of statement. I could have gone off on her, and at one moment I did think of jumping across the table and telling her to keep her mouth shut  - but I was gracious and just kept my own mouth shut.

I can joke about it now, and did laugh it off that night - I will not let this woman control the way I feel - and to be honest, as much as it was uncomfortable I kept my wits about me. I didn't want to cry, I didn't feel fat, I didn't want to leave. As uncomfortable as I felt looking at many other good looking people, or how I felt upon picking up my girlfriend earlier that night, this "gastric" moment didn't phase me. I realized that I am a person that is fully and completely committed to making a lifestyle change!!

Really - seriously - this is all about my lifestyle!!!! I am going to make it happen!!! A new me is on its way!!


Monday, July 29, 2013

Moment of no return!!!

I had a moment on Friday - a moment that I didn't want to experience ever again. I think I have been waiting for a sign, something that just finally makes me realize that I just can not be the size that I am right now.

I go for two walks a day at work with some of my co-workers. No speed walking, just a chance to get out of the office and take our 15 minute breaks. Friday was not a very hot day, nothing like we have had in the last few weeks. And it was Friday, so I was wearing jeans, but there was something about that morning walk that just didn't go so well. I was wearing my boots, because I just could not wear my tennis shoes that day - even if it was casual Friday, but my white tennis' were not as white as I wanted them to be, so I had to opt for the boots. As we were walking I felt like the speed was faster than normal - which was a welcome sign. But I felt a bit overwhelmed - like I could not keep up. Was it the shoes or??

After making it back to my desk I was feeling uncomfortable. My bra was giving me discomfort, I had a bit of sweat on my forehead and wearing my jeans that day was probably not a good thing - as it turned out to be a bit more warmer than expected. As I sat to get back to work the sweat was taking me over. There was more then I thought there would be - was it the heat from outside, the jeans making it warmer for me, the way I had been eating lately and the sweat just taking me over (sometimes I feel that you sweat more based on what you do eat - that your body is getting rid of the toxins). I was feeling so out of sorts, that I had to go to the restroom to get a paper towel to take care of the sweat, because now it wasn't just on my forehead, but around my bra area. It was the most uncomfortable feeling. I felt like this big fat person and that is rare that I feel that way - I don't see myself that way, but Friday was that day - and that was something I was feeling, not something that people were judging me on.

In addition, in the last few weeks I hurt my back and have been nursing the soreness. I continue to sit at my desk and have to adjust my position quite often based on the minor back issue I have been having. (I have been praying to the standing desk god's to see if I might be able to have a standing desk at work - but that is something I have to research and make work for me, not ask my work to make it work for them - and yes, I think of Alan often from Pounds off Playoff blog that mentions the standing desk health benefits). I am seeing a chiropractor to take care of the issue, but I know that it is up to me to make sure I stay healthy - and this back issue is actually part of the long term effects of sitting so much during my work day.

So - with the walk, the sweat, the back - all those factors - feeling uncomfortable got worse and worse as my morning progressed.

I then had that click - that moment where I finally (YES, FINALLY) realized I don't want to feel this way ever again. I want to be healthy, I want to lose the weight. Yes, I need to lose the weight, but I WANT to lose it. That click. That moment of no return!! It is time - in fact, there is no more time to waste. I have been sitting too long. It is my turn, my time, my decision - no one can tell me to do it or not do it.

That feeling on Friday was the worst feeling in the world, even if it only lasted for a few minutes, but it was a feeling I didn't want to experience again.

This weekend - the beginning of the end - I know I have said this several times before, but I have to make this happen now. I am going to make this happen. This is my time - the moment of no return !!!


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Getting things accomplished!!

I love going to my son's Boy Scout meetings - especially when I can bring my lap top. Most of the time he is dealing with activities and I am sitting around waiting for the meeting to end. On the nights that I bring my lap top I can get tons done. Tonight for example - I returned several emails, made some phone calls, sent out over 70 emails to my Scout parents as a final follow up for my Day Camp duties. I then downloaded over 85 pictures to have developed at a local photo store to pick up tomorrow. The best part of having my computer at his meetings is the the connection is much faster than at home.

Okay - had to stop this post and pick it up again tonight on Tuesday. I am alone tonight, so I am doing my best to get more stuff done.

The one thing I really wanted to say is the fact that I can get so much done when I put my mind to it. But, then when my mind starts playing tricks on me I don't want to get out of bed and exercise, I don't want to do my 20 minutes, I come up with many excuses to avoid exercising - what is wrong???? I want to be thin, I want to lose weight???

Struggling with getting the exercise accomplished!!!!


Sunday, July 14, 2013

Keys to my success

Hello Fellow Bloggers -

It has been quite sometime since I actually sat down to write and have really thought about what I was going to write. I am hoping to make this short, but have a funny feeling it might run a bit long.

To those who have missed us, or if you are just getting the chance to read about us - I am the Mo and my better half is the Mer. We have been friends for 25 years. This summer will actually be 25 years and we are going to celebrate that fact with a college reunion with friends. I am very excited for the fact that I am Mer's friend. That we have never really fallen apart from each other. Phone calls, trips to visit each other, overnight camping vacations, 5K races, supporting each other in all that we do - so much more. I am ever so grateful to Humboldt State University for putting us together in the same dorm room and thinking it was never going to work - but from the very moment we noticed the color's of light on the ceiling of our room there was that magic moment that it just clicked. Connected at the hip - I know we will enjoy another 25 years of lasting friendship.

I am not getting back to blogging just because I now have time, I am getting back to it because I want to. I miss it and I am going to make it a part of my weekly routine - no excuse for it, it kept me on track, connected and grounded on my weight loss journey. When Mer and I started this journey close to 2.5 years ago - our first post on January 6, 2011 - Our first official post
Or my official first post (this reminds my so well as to why I need to lose weight and that I WANT to lose it)
Mo's story - that I am a MOM - that I need to be healthy for my son, to raise him and be with him when he crosses the finish lines of many things- school. college, goals, marriage and just the fact to be there to see him grow up.

As I looked for that first post I had the chance to see other posts. Saw so many accomplishments, the starts the stops, the ups, the downs - too many posts to count. I can say that since losing the original 40 pounds back in 2011 I am up just 30, not the full 40 and I have stayed steady at that weight for over a year. I just want to start losing again!

So - here are the keys to my success - 

1. Posting every other day - even if it is short or long

2. Getting support from others. Mer, my family and for sure my blogging buddies - just reading about others success gives me the encouragement that I need - if you can do it, then I can do it. Looking for the support, too - so send me a note from time to time - that always helps keep my on track.

3. No sodas

4. No fast food

5. No eating after 8 pm

6. No sweets, candies and that occasional "paid too much for it" coffee

7. Five fruits and vegetables each day

8.  - this is a good # - because it stands for 8 glasses of water a day. Go for the 10, but for sure get in the 8 each and everyday, no matter what.

9. Eating a good, but sensible breakfast each morning.

10. Take the time to exercise each day - 20 - 30 minutes, make it fun, don't think of it as a chore - plan and simple - just do it!!!

11. Take the time for you each day. A 10 minute moment can make a world of difference

12. Get 8 hours of sleep a day - yes, I know it might only be 7, but I am going to strive for 8

13. Take my vitamins each day.

14. Track my food eating. Find a good tracking system and make it work - when you see it written down  you pay more attention to it - even the little nipples

I know there are more keys that will help put me get me through a new door, but for now I think this list is a good start.

I have to run - taking in a major league baseball game today with my family. A little concerned that sitting in the seats at the stadium is going to make me feel very uncomfortable, but for now I will enjoy the day!!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful week!!

Look to your keys of success - what works best for you?

(not quite yet ready to say "Motivated") so for now signing off:


Thursday, July 11, 2013

Think Before You Eat

Something to remember before you eat - and how much time do you really have to get in that fat burning moment to take care of what you ate....