Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Waves of emotions

Wow - I knew it has been a long time, but I am the worst blogger in the world. I have all these "followers", but I am sure they are wondering what they are following - a blank wall, a silent blogger...

I have been dealing with an injury. Well, I guess it really is not an injury. For more then a year I have had this pain in my right foot. Sometimes it comes and sometimes it goes. At times I have been limping and then the pain goes away. I just figured it was the shoes that I was wearing, so I changed shoes. But, then I would only have this pain and limp at the end of a very busy event where I was walking, carrying and doing tons of stuff while on my feet (no rest for the busy).

Well, this July as I was closing up my Scout Day Camp boxes I had this pain again. I was hoping it would go away. I tried ice, I stayed off of my right foot when I could. I still wanted to do my two daily 15 minutes walks with my co-workers, but the pain got worse. Yep - now I was really in trouble.

I called the orthopedic, thinking it was a torn something....what was it??? One doctor told me "tissue" damage, I had to wait another 1.5 months to be told that  - wait for it - I have a Tarsal Coalition. What - a what??? A Coalition - is that something political? Nope, (insert many questions). I am the happy recipient of this Tarsal bone issue in my foot that happens to about 1% of us. Woo Hoo!! NOT

For the time being I have been wearing a removable "boot" for the last three weeks. I actually got that fancy thing on my birthday. Talk about feeling OLD!!!! I finally have shoe inserts and am hoping that will help. My other option is surgery, and I don't know about you, but surgery on my right foot (driving foot) is not my cup of tea.

I know that I will never be the same, not at 100% as this Coalition is restricting mobility, and yes, I feel really overweight! I want to work out, but have no motivation to do so. I need to workout, but this foot is causing me so much pain - more then you can imagine.

At the same time I am dealing with this most annoying foot issue I am still getting used to a new job. I am grateful to be working after being out of work for just about 11 months, but boy - I have never dealt with an office like this one. I can't be myself at this job - as I have been told that certain things are not allowed (don't send out emails to the whole office unless you are a manager, don't talk too loud, oh and for certain don't be too helpful at the copier). I am going to keep the job, because I am getting paid really well, have great benefits, have already gotten two bonuses and yes, my 401K is growing!!! Struggling to find my voice outside of my office walls is on my agenda! Hoping to see what new experiences are in store for me!

I am also dealing with a 7th grader - tons of homework - and doing it as a single parent....sigh!! The good part, I have stepped back from many of my volunteering duties. I am taking the time to take care of me, when I am not dealing with all that homework support (LOL)

I am still holding my own on the weight loss issue. Haven't lost more then 5, haven't gained more then 5...but I can't get past that 5 pounds.

Wondering where I go from here????? Many things to think about -