Do you ever wonder if there is someone out there that is (or has) written up your life and totally knows what is going to happen, but they neglect to share it with you? I feel that way many times. I am not that religious, but did grow up with a great religious background. Which explains that there are times that I feel that God has this book of my life, written, published and well, I wonder how come he neglects to tell me that he has turned the page and the next chapter of my life is about to begin. Like the time my Mom passed away and then 8 months later my Dad passed away. The joy of paying that first mortgage payment on the very day my then husband lost his job. Or even realizing that my marriage was over before it even was evident to me. There are happy moments in that book - the joy of getting a college degree, being blessed with a healthy child, actually owning a dream home, having strong friendships and so much more!!
However, there are those page turning moments that you just wonder - how come I didn't know that was going to happen (or did I)? Well, just about 3 pm California time yesterday, the page was turned and another chapter was about to begin. Not really sure how I feel. I guess I could say I am numb, have had my crying moments, made tons of jokes and yes, yes, I did go out to eat with my little sis and I had tons of comfort food. But, wait, don't worry, even if that hamburger, fries and chocolate shake (yes, I did) pushed me over the edge calorie wise for the day (and for maybe 2 more days) I did make sure I exercised. As soon as I got home yesterday I got in a full 45 minute walk with my neighbor. It was a very fast walking pace, as the kids were riding bikes and we wanted to make sure that they didn't feel like they were going too slow.
There are positives to look at with this new chapter in my life:
I have tons of time to get ready for Scout Day Camp in June
I get to pick up my son from school earlier in the day
I can start my spring cleaning now rather then never
I can have a garage sale
I get to catch up with friends in the middle of the day.
I get to apply for food stamps
I have a nice retirement fund that I would not have gotten.
That child support claim I am now filing, well, I am confident that it will rule in my favor now.
After 23 years of being in the workforce I get to learn how the unemployment system really works
I get to update my resume
I get to bone up on my interview skills (if I do get an interview)
and the best part - I get to workout more, with more intensity and will be a skinny bitch in no time!!! The guys will be all over me, I will be more confident, those back of the closet moments will be fast and furious and well, there are many other positives in this new chapter of my life.
Yes, I sure hope you have guessed it by now, I was let go from my job. I have worked there just a bit over 5 years. This is a new aspect for me, because I have been in the work force for over 23 years, heck I think about 29 years, including counting my college years because I did work during my college breaks. There has never been a lapse in my working career, moving from one job to the next within days. I will bounce back. It has always been easy for me to find new jobs and many jobs have fallen into my lap. This is just going to be a hard few days, weeks and I hope not months for me because oh, I don't know...what is it they are saying - finding work is hard. I think I read that one or two times in the last few years.
However, I am doing okay...give or take the fact that my alarm was not set this morning, I was wide awake at 6 am, and after I went to the bathroom I cried really hard because there was the fact that I had no place to go today. I don't even have to get my son ready for school, because he is at his Dad's for a school holiday. Yep - a bit hard this morning. Oh, wait, yes there are places to go- unemployment office, and California does have this great program that single mothers can apply for that gives you the opportunity to get milk, eggs and cheese for free. Many things to do on this busy first day of unemployment. I am looking at the positives, mixed in with some of the negative, but going to enter this next chapter of my life with a good attitude.
Just remember this, when another chapter has ended, another one is going to begin!! New chapters, new experiences....a smile, a skip in my step and cheers to my sooner then later skinny bitch moment!!! Gotta run...or walk - off with the neighbor for our lap around the neighborhood. Have a blessed day and when you think that your book has been written, just look at the positives of what that new chapter in your life will have in store for you. I am !!!!!
Staying MOtivated (and upbeat) MO