"Unhooking the chains" is about studying the behavior links to pinpoint the exact place where you slipped up and consider what you could have done to prevent them. Spangle shares that emotional eating rarely happens in isolation so it can be a series of unconnected events that wear down your willpower and resistance.
So, for me it was a day like this-
Lock keys in car--> late for meeting-->housecleaners call to say there is no key out-->
have to call spouse about key--> housecleaners say they will come back next week!!! -->
daughter text to say that she needs a ride to soccer game this afternoon--> Internet and voicemail goes down at office--> important communication and work is at a stand still-->
spouse calls to say that key is out!
WHAT THE HECK! This was all before lunch!
By this time, I was stressed out! As I walked through the break room, I needed something to relieve my stress so I found the box of See's Candies and ate a few too many!
As I really look at this I see how I could have prevented some of the intense stress.
When I do things like lock keys in the car I should not talk bad to myself and I should not have rushed. I should have taken the time to make sure I had everything I needed rather than throwing everything into the car including the keys! I am so mean and horrible to myself when I make mistakes. This needs to stop!
Usually, my family has a Sunday meeting to make sure we know what is happening in our busy lives and we negotiate schedules and duties so that I don't get the last minute call and text that totally catches me off guard. I should have taken a walk to my car or around the block rather walking through the break room. I always have gum in my desk or in my purse and I should have chewed on a piece so that I could have had some time process and problem solve.
I have to let go that there are some things I don't have control of and that I can't do anything about the internet and voicemail going down. I have to just do some relaxation breathing and find my focus and center since there are many other things to do in my office.
- Draw your behavior chain of events
- Keep adding until you have exhausted all parts of the chain
- For each part of the chain brainstorm how to handle each behavior with an preventative action instead of letting it build
Changing from the inside-out,