Monday, April 4, 2011

The 7 Adjustments for my self-esteem

This list comes from Scott Catamas and is more about how to deal with disharmony in a relationship, but when I read this I thought about the disharmony within myself. Over the weekend I read A New Dawn for Me and her entry on "Self-Esteem, and a pile of old coats" it made me think about what I am doing to love myself and what am I doing to improve how I see myself? This is where this list comes in when I read it my first thought was- this is a great list for me and how I talk to myself.
The 7 Adjustments-
1. Willingness to change instead of blame- I have a tendency to blame myself first for every mistake that I make, but now I am not so hard on myself. I am willing to change my old bad eating and exercise habits. 
2. Compassion instead of judgement- I tend to be pretty harsh and judgmental with myself instead of compassionate. I know my struggles and my story. I need to be kinder to my own heart.
3. Reassurance instead of shame- I use to be ashamed of my body because I did not like what I saw in the mirror. Now, I try to reassure myself that I am aging gracefully and I remind myself that having two babies does change your body along with that darn gravity. 
4. Appreciation instead of criticism- In my own self-talk there is a lot of criticism that no one ever hears and I need to be more appreciative of myself and give myself credit where credit is due.
5. Understand instead of blame- I need to be more understanding instead of blaming myself for things that I can't control. I am a busy working mom and there are days that I just can't get everything done.
6. Acceptance instead of guilt- I am getting better at accepting who I am and what I have done in the past. I accept that it is time to learn from mistakes and move forward to a better me. 
7. Curiosity instead of making wrong- my willingness to be curious, to question and to come up with alternatives instead of focusing on wrong doings.
I copied these down on to an index card and I plan to keep it handy so that when I am feeling out of sorts with myself  I can look at this list and heal the conflict within myself and build self-esteem by trusting myself, and my choices.


Jackie said...

These are so-o-o good, Mer. It's almost like you wrote them for me about me! Self-talk, self-blame, self-judgment - I guess maybe everything in life begins with "me", doesn't it? How we see ourselves is perhaps the lens for how we see our world. I really enjoyed reading your post. I'm sure these adjustments will be very helpful for you - because I'm sure they're going to help me! (Isn't A New Dawn for Me great?) Stay strong and "adjusted."

Mer and Mo said...

Wow - awesome post. Gives me a moment (or more) to think about me. I realized the other day that I am doing this for me and now things are looking better and getting better. You are always there for great tips and inspiration - thanks for this post!!

Dawn said...

Wow ...thanks for the mention ladies...and this list is JUST what I need, I know I have to change my self esteem but I don't know HOW and this a brilliant place to begin. Thank you SO much for having you all here...just love it

Mer and Mo said...

@Dawn-Thank you for the inspiration to improve my self-esteem. Now we can do it together. It is much easier knowing that their are others out there struggling with the same thing. Comforting really.
@Jackie- Your comment validates that perhaps all women feel the way that I do at this middle aged stage of life. We're both becoming wiser and more accepting of who we are. All because of our willingness to make change for the betterment of ourselves for our world.
@Mo- Hey, that is what I am here for- to make you think and to push you in a way you never thought you could be pushed. You have always been an incredible person to me and I am so glad that you are starting to see the wonderful person you are. Yes, you are doing this for you! It is the best reason to do it!