This list comes from Scott Catamas and is more about how to deal with disharmony in a relationship, but when I read this I thought about the disharmony within myself. Over the weekend I read A New Dawn for Me and her entry on "Self-Esteem, and a pile of old coats" it made me think about what I am doing to love myself and what am I doing to improve how I see myself? This is where this list comes in when I read it my first thought was- this is a great list for me and how I talk to myself.
The 7 Adjustments-
1. Willingness to change instead of blame- I have a tendency to blame myself first for every mistake that I make, but now I am not so hard on myself. I am willing to change my old bad eating and exercise habits.
2. Compassion instead of judgement- I tend to be pretty harsh and judgmental with myself instead of compassionate. I know my struggles and my story. I need to be kinder to my own heart.
3. Reassurance instead of shame- I use to be ashamed of my body because I did not like what I saw in the mirror. Now, I try to reassure myself that I am aging gracefully and I remind myself that having two babies does change your body along with that darn gravity.
4. Appreciation instead of criticism- In my own self-talk there is a lot of criticism that no one ever hears and I need to be more appreciative of myself and give myself credit where credit is due.
5. Understand instead of blame- I need to be more understanding instead of blaming myself for things that I can't control. I am a busy working mom and there are days that I just can't get everything done.
6. Acceptance instead of guilt- I am getting better at accepting who I am and what I have done in the past. I accept that it is time to learn from mistakes and move forward to a better me.
7. Curiosity instead of making wrong- my willingness to be curious, to question and to come up with alternatives instead of focusing on wrong doings.
I copied these down on to an index card and I plan to keep it handy so that when I am feeling out of sorts with myself I can look at this list and heal the conflict within myself and build self-esteem by trusting myself, and my choices.
YOU CAN DO IT!
STAY THE COURSE!
NEVER GIVE UP!