Here is my first draft of my mission statement for 2013-
My purpose is to be proactive, responsible and kind by prioritizing and focusing on what is most important by using my creativeness and imagination to solve problems, and all interactions come with self-awareness and positive intentions of being kind to myself and others, to rebuild a solid foundation in my relationships and taking care of my physical and mental health while maintaining a balance between my home and work life.
There is a lot packed into that paragraph. I am going to let it sink in and see if I can live with it. There is one thing that I need to add into that mission statement, which is to have fun with life and not take myself or things so personally or so seriously.
I really need to lighten up and laugh at more at my funny little idiosyncrasies and swiss cheese brain that I have. It is so hard for me not to be hard on myself. There is a harsh critic that sits on my shoulder and in the last year I have learned to be more accepting and more compassionate toward myself. I need the critic so that I can continuously improve my skills and practices. I have accepted that I am constantly a work in progress. My perfectionism issues are turning into focusing on excellence. It is leading me to a very different way of living.
I realized that I had been living a life that was spouse-centered and it was ok for awhile, but now I am working on being principle centered. I'm studying this from the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey. It is a revisit for me since I started with this book 18 years ago as a new classroom teacher trying to figure out my direction.
Here I am again trying to figure out my direction again. I have gone through some identity changes from being just a wife to being a wife and mother to one and then, to two wonderful kids. My work roles have changed as well and my identity has changed from classroom teacher to teacher leader to district coach. I never thought of these identities changes who I am, but they have impacted me more than I have ever thought possible in a positive way. I don't give myself credit for what I should because I have been living in the shadow of my spouse. In hind site, I have accomplished a lot as a working mom contributing to my share to the household expenses and I am proud of myself for all that I have done. I just never have had the time to give myself a pat on the back nor have I properly celebrated all the things that I have accomplished recently- I was on committee for the NSTA national conference and got to go to Washington DC to plan for it. I got my credential for teaching science k-8 and I just got an honorarium for being part of the GLOBE project, which got me a trip to the University of Alaska and Denali in the summer of 2011.
As a mother, I have become the fun, creative, imaginative mother who listens with empathy and seeks to understand before being understood. The end in mind with my children is that they become strong emotionally, mentally, socially and physically resilient adults. So, recently every interaction with them I have become acutely aware of my body language and my words. Kids will act out what they see and hear so I need to be a responsible model to them.
Yes, I have gained more wisdom and more patience through the years. I am looking at rescripting the bad habits and not live a resentful, angry life in the shadow of my spouse. Through self-awareness I have been surprised to find my strength to stand up and be clear with my thoughts, needs and with things that offended me. I have found comfort in my own grieving and my own suffering through self-compassion and self-forgiveness. Through the changes of mental practices I have learned that meditation, prayer, mindfulness and acceptance has made me more insightful and empowered. I was playing the part of a victim to my own depression and anxiety, but through careful guidance from friends, family and support groups and counseling I am emerging from my cocoon and I am just starting to spread my wings to fly to the light of renewal of my spirit. 2013 is going to be an awesome year!
So for me in the next days this is my focus-
Dare to Dream Again