The feeling that I keep having that says to me "maybe you are not comfortable with a new you?" Is that the case? I mean, if I keep losing weight will I still be the same me? Why not keep losing? Am I afraid that I will have to keep buying new clothes that I will not be able to wear for very long - then what was the point of buying them? Am I really that comfortable with this weight? Why am I at a stand still? What is holding me back?
I know, all of the above might sound silly. Is there another reason? Am I afraid of all the positives and just waiting for the negative effect? Why would anyone be waiting for the negative when the positive is the best part!!! Like when a person says - "Wow - you look so good", but in my head I hear them say - "wonder when she will gain it back" or when a person says "How did you do it, what is your secret" and then you share it and the whole time I am wondering, am I really that motivational to others? Again - just my inner struggle I am dealing with at the moment.
I really have been thinking about this a lot. I really do believe there is that fear. Fear of success. Believe me - I don't think I am lazy, that I want to sleep past my alarm clock, that I don't want to sweat, that I am just finding other things to do with my time - I really do feel there is a fear inside me that is not giving me the chance to find a new thinner me. I just can't seem to scream and let it out. What is holding me back?
Am I afraid to be in a new me? Am I just too comfortable the way I am? (there is that sentence again) I ask myself that question many times and it is always NO!!! Why can't that NO give me the push I really need. Just doing the basics is not going to make it all happen for me. It is like Mer said the other day "where do you want to be" !! I just need to realize that there is a NEW me waiting to get out!!! Turn the key, open the door - what am I waiting for?
I decided that I need to make a list - kind of like a music conductor - a famous Maestro - looking to create an inspirational song - one that will keep me going each day. The 44th chapter of my life is just beginning - so much to see, do and experience - looking for that HUGE spark again!
Mo's Kick It Into Gear List
Do What It Takes
Do It To Be Healthy
Do It For Yourself
Do It For Your Son
Do It To Do More
Do It To Be Noticed
Do It Because You Can
You Can Do It!!!